Reentering a passport culture is usually a tough transition for TCKs since they’re going through a cultural shift that the people around them can’t easily see. They look like the people around them but inside they are from a whole different place and way of thinking. TCKs who have recently gone through this reentry themselves share their experiences here–the good and the bad– and give advice about navigating reentry.
TCKs are notorious for hating the question “Where are you from?” Such a mobile childhood, surrounded by others moving all the time as well, can make it difficult to belong to one place or group of people. These TCKs were asked about their own experience of home and where they feel they belong.
How many homes have you lived in?
Where are you from?
Where do you consider home?
Where do you fit in best?
How has your sense of home changed over the years?
Written by brothers who grew up as third-culture kids in various countries, this book is written to and for teens moving overseas. It addresses moving, school/education issues, culture shock, life overseas, and reentry. Most of the topics it covers are more applicable to TCKs from diplomatic or business families and those in a high socio-economic class. It is the only book of its kind, and much of it is relevant especially to those who will be living in cities with an established international/expatriate community. With stories from TCKs all over the world and advice from experts on international moves as well, this text is great resource.
Madeleine L’Engle, author of the Wrinkle in Time series, drew on her own childhood experiences of Swiss boarding school and a nomadic lifestyle to write this boarding school romance novel.
When Philippa (nicknamed Flip) is sent from Connecticut to Switzerland she struggles to adjust. Out of place and teased by the other girls, she must learn to overcome her self-pity and shyness. Flip finds a true friend in Paul, a war orphan with a past full of questions, and together they grow in confidence (on and off their skis), overcoming great losses in their pasts. The slow transformation Flip undergoes is wonderful to watch: from the awkward serious girl who sees school as imprisonment to a brave friend.
And Both Were Young doesn’t cover the normal TCK themes seen in other young adult fiction (cultural identity, reentry, etc.) but has a matter-of-fact approach to making friends and readjusting to life after the loss of loved ones. It’s the kind of book you can enjoy as a young girl (or boy) and reread throughout your whole life, going back to the Swiss Alps and châteaus with Flip and Paul again and again.
Cristina, an MK growing up in Brazil, has spent months dreaming about her quinze anos party, the 15th birthday celebration when a girl becomes a young lady. Now the family is on furlough in Minnesota, and Cristina is certain her quinze anos will be a disappointment. To make things worse, she finds it difficult to fit in at school despite the welcome of Lisa, her best friend from the previous furlough. Although Lisa generally includes her in activities, Cristina feels like an outsider, unable to find anyone who understands or cares about the things that are important to her. Uncertain of the latest styles or slang, she often feels foolish at school. Nevertheless, she is drawn to Jason, whose part-Korean ancestry makes him stand out too though in appearance rather than behavior. Together they face the attacks of the “in” crowd and discover that there are positive things about being “between two worlds.”
Despite its somewhat cheesy title, this is a really enjoyable and relatable read. It even shows how different TCKs from the same family can react to moving and goodbyes differently. The story is a little older so social media and cell phones aren’t part of the teenage world in “Between Two Worlds” but the dynamics of US American public school are still relevant.
TCKs are often asked awkward questions about their lives far away from their parents’ culture. Some are broad and difficult to answer and others are just weird. These TCKs share some of what they have been asked and also how they want people to get to know them. This video would be great to show to a church group or anyone who is about to meet TCKs and wants to know how to be their friends. The interviewees were asked:
