Misunderstood: The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century

Misunderstood is a decent introductory book for those looking to better understand TCKs, written for TCKs themselves, parents, and those who care for TCKs (like counselors or those who work for the parents’ organizations). It goes into detail about the different types of TCKs (like military brats, missionary kids, etc.) and the pros and cons of different schooling options while outside your passport country.

The book is based on interviews that the author has conducted on a large sample of TCKs and included many quotes and stories to accompany each section. While this lends credibility to her book, it can also be misleading.

Being a TCK caregiver, I know many TCKs who would disagree with the generalizations that she makes. It seems she interviewed TCKs who identify strongly with their overseas experiences and have struggled in adapting to their passport cultures. She said every TCK she interviewed claimed reentry was “a particularly difficult experience” (pg. 211). I know several TCKs who would disagree and say the experience was not very difficult for them. Many TCKs adapt well to their passport culture and do not strongly identify with being a TCK, though these are probably the TCKs least likely to volunteer to be interviewed about TCK experiences.

So while the book as a whole is a good summary of TCK experiences in general, one has to keep in mind that her interview sample was likely skewed and many TCKs would say her generalizations about TCK beliefs and experiences do not fit them.

Letters Never Sent

A memoir of a missionary kid processing her experience of growing up abroad, and especially of going to boarding school as a young child, “Letters Never Sent” takes the reader through a process of healing and seeking closeness with God. Written in the form of letters to her parents (the original title is more apt: “Letters I Never Wrote”), this is her story from early childhood through adulthood as the discovery that pain and purpose can co-exist begins to bring comfort & healing.

While unmasking some of the darker sides of missions and especially the family separations that often go along with it, Van Reken still honors the good in her experiences and how much she loves her and parents and loves God. She doesn’t look at her experiences in black and white but still gives helpful advice to those who are on a similar journey towards recovery and to parents of TCKs who don’t want to repeat her parents’ mistakes.

Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere: Insights into counseling the globally mobile

This is a fantastic book for professional counselors (from psychologists to pastoral counselors) to better understand their TCK clients and how to treat them effectively. It covers the basics of what a TCK is and then goes deep into treatment methods, common struggles TCKs face and even how to say goodbye well at the end of therapy. I really loved Bushong’s creative therapeutic techniques, like making an identity model with your client showing who you look like to others and how you feel on the inside by using a collage on int he inside and outside of a paper bag.

Another valuable aspect of this book is addressing how to diagnose TCKs, and recognizing that some thing that look pathological in TCKs may actually be a form of grief or a cultural difference. I highly recommend this book to anyone who counsels TCKs or works with them in TCK care.

The Road Home (Professional Version)

* See below for a description of the film *

WHY CHOOSE THE PROFESSIONAL DVD?

SHOW THE FILM TO A GROUP:  With the Unlimited Public Screening License you can show the film as many timesas you’d like in classrooms, seminars, conferences, and public settings of any size.

LEAD A GROUP DISCUSSION:  Get people talking using the Discussion Question Insert designed to help your audience discover how the film’s message relates to their lives.  With sets of questions tailored to younger and older students, parents and professionals, you’ll find the right ones for any group.

DEEPEN YOUR UNDERSTANDING:  Gain new insight from two Professional Commentaries in which TCK experts Ruth Van Reken and Heidi Tunberg describe and explain the Third Culture Kid experience and highlight TCK themes in the film.

SPEAK YOUR AUDIENCE’S LANGUAGE:  Choose one of fourteen subtitle languages to best fit your audience (languages listed below) [Also on the Collector DVD]

GO BEHIND THE SCENES:  Hear Director Rahul Gandotra talk about the life experiences that inspired the film in two Director’s Commentaries Get more of the story with the alternate beginning and other deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes footage, and more.  [Also on the Collector DVD]

Purchase the Professional DVD from Amazon here.

Parents, caregivers and educators of TCKs can order Professional DVDs at a discount by emailing Heidi Tunberg.

Film Description:

“Growing up in England, ten-year old Pico never wanted to go to boarding school in the Himalayas, and despite the beauty there, he struggles to fit in. When he’s bullied for insisting he’s British in spite of his Indian heritage, he runs away, determined to return to his home in London. As he journeys through a country foreign to him, Pico encounters others who mistake him for an Indian boy, forcing him to face the painful truth that the world does not see him the way he sees himself.”

This semi-autobiographical film, shot in the Himalayas around Woodstock International School, is a masterpiece.  Breathtakingly beautiful, it was shortlisted for the Oscars and nominated for the BAFTAs (Britain’s Oscar equivalent) as well as winning scores of awards at film festivals around the world.  But for those who understand the experience of being a Hidden Immigrant – where how you look outside doesn’t fully match how you feel inside – it is more than a lovely movie.  It is also heart-stirring.  It illustrates that experience with poignancy and humor, evoking laughter and often a few tears.  I have literally watched it over 100 times, and it never gets old.  

The writer and director spent the first 9 years of his life in the UK and Saudi Arabia before returning to his parents’ homeland in India.  The film is loosely based on his early days at Woodstock International School.

Read more about the film or watch it online for free at the director’s website

Dialogue:  English & Hindi (with English subtitles for the Hindi)

Subtitles (DVD version):  English (full dialogue), French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Tagalog, Bahasa Indonesia, Thai, Greek, and Arabic

The Road Home

“Growing up in England, ten-year old Pico never wanted to go to boarding school in the Himalayas, and despite the beauty there, he struggles to fit in. When he’s bullied for insisting he’s British in spite of his Indian heritage, he runs away, determined to return to his home in London. As he journeys through a country foreign to him, Pico encounters others who mistake him for an Indian boy, forcing him to face the painful truth that the world does not see him the way he sees himself.”

This semi-autobiographical film, shot in the Himalayas around Woodstock International School, is a masterpiece. Breathtakingly beautiful, it was shortlisted for the Oscars and nominated for the BAFTAs (Britain’s Oscar equivalent) as well as winning scores of awards at film festivals around the world. But for those who understand the experience of being a Hidden Immigrant – where how you look outside doesn’t fully match how you feel inside – it is more than a lovely movie. It is also heart-stirring. It illustrates that experience with poignancy and humor, evoking laughter and often a few tears.  I have literally watched it over 100 times, and it never gets old.  

The writer and director spent the first 9 years of his life in the UK and Saudi Arabia before returning to his parents’ homeland in India. The film is loosely based on his early days at Woodstock International School.

Read more about the film or watch it online for free at the director’s website

Want your own copy, or want to watch it in another language?  The Collector’s DVD comes with extra features like commentaries, including one that tells the director’s own TCK story and how he came to make this film, *PLUS* subtitles in 14 languages (all translated by fellow TCKs).

Want to use the film in a TCK group, conference or classroom?  The Professional DVD comes with a screening license for groups of any size *PLUS* two professional commentaries, discussion questions, and more.  Purchase it from Amazon here. Parents, caregivers and educators of TCKs can order Professional DVDs at a discount by emailing Heidi Tunberg.

Dialogue:  English & Hindi (with English subtitles for the Hindi)

Subtitles (DVD version):  English (full dialogue), French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Tagalog, Bahasa Indonesia, Thai, Greek, and Arabic

Slurping Soup and Other Cultural Confusions: True stories and activities to help Third Culture Kids during transition

Of all the books I’ve reviewed for kids moving internationally, this is by far my top pick! Unlike other activity books, it is not about moving to a new house but about things kids encounter when adjusting to a new culture and living abroad.

Each of the twenty-three “chapters” covers a different challenge a TCK might face living internationally – encountering “weird” things, being stared at by strangers, missing friends, missing out on activities with extended family, feeling connected to several flags & countries and many more. Each section starts with one or two stories by TCKs, followed by a brief insight or suggestion written by the parent. An activity then helps kids express themselves, problem-solve, or gain a new perspective.

The book is illustrated with colorful children’s drawings and photos of the actual children who wrote the stories (the authors’ children). The children themselves come from all over the world and live all over the world.

As a TCK Caregiver, this is the book I give to all our parents when they move overseas for the first time with children.

You can download a PDF with four sample “chapters” at the book’s website:  http://www.slurpingsoup.com/book/preview-the-book/

Reading level: 3-12 years